she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
