I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
