Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
