he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
