I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
