I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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