remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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