just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
