i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
