I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
