It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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