He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Jerry, you need to find god
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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