My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
