So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
