I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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