Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
