She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
