HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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