i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
