I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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