quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
