Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
