How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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