I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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