Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
