Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize