you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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