Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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