and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
