i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
