my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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