I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
