tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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