Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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