we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
