what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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