just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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