We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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