I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
