Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
