I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
