i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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