I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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