Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
