I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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