Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
