all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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