yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
