Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
COCAINE IS GR8
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
