dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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