i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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