I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
