Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
