Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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