He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
