You're my little dorito
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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