I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
