Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
