the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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