he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
