Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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