Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I need a beard to bite.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
