after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
