I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
as a side note pls kill me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
