her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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