ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
