hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
