im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
