is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
