The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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