man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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