Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
