Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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