your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
