she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
